Dear People of South Asia,
I know that there are traditions, but I have a friendly suggestion. Instead of scaring me every few seconds with firecrakers you can celebrate this a different way. What about decking out the whole town with lava lamps. Yes, lava lamps! It would be a groovy way to have a festival this year. Let me know what you think. I may comprimise if you have a better suggestion.
Your foreign resident,
VCB
